Maybe he’s never existed or maybe he existed way past his expiration date because you weren’t ready to sleep alone in that queen or king size bed of yours. And you keep waking up in the middle of the night and you keep staring at the “extra” pillow in your bed and you keep wondering why you need so many blankets to keep warm.
Some nights you may stand on YOUR side of the bed and contemplate getting into it, because wouldn’t it be easier to just sleep on the couch? And maybe some nights you just can’t stand the thought of not being held. And maybe you just don’t want to fill your pillow case with tears.
So you turn back over – to the side that faces the wall and you close your eyes and if you’re really lucky there’s darkness. But if you’re not, a marathon of memories and other peoples relationships play out behind your eye lids.
And you tell yourself, in time, just give it time.