scripture for heartbreak.

I sat in bed at 1:30 this morning and googled into the dark, scripture for heartbreak.

I keep seeing photos of the person who I almost-had-something-with and he is so happy. So happy that I’m happy for him. And I’m heartbroken.

The friendship that came from him is one I hope I’ll get to hang onto – maybe not right now but in the future. And I hope that I get to be a part of their life together in the future where we all sit around and drink coffee and I love on their little ones as if I’m their aunt. Because friendship is what brought us together and friendship is what I pray holds us together as we embark on this new part of life.

This new part – the-I-found-the-one I want to be with forever? I’m not quite part of the club yet and I keep yelling at God, WHEN? WHEN is it going to be my turn? When will you take all the love and heartbreak and soul inside of me and roll it all into another life that I can share it with? Why won’t you give me someone? Why?

And I am terrified that his answer is going to be I’m not.

I’m not giving you someone this side of heaven. I’m not going to put that overwhelming heart full of love of yours to work on someone Earthly. I want to save that for Me, I want to use that in My time for the greater plans I have for you.

BUT GOD. PLEASE. Please don’t make me be alone forever. Please don’t let me live in a world of constant heartbreak. Please open me up to practice a life of gratitude and trust in Your timing. HELP ME LORD, please.